Collide-Howie Day (Cover)

This might not be the most like-able cover I have ever worked on but imagine it’s a seven year-old boy singing to you (since I think my voice sounds like it), and maybe things would be better. LOL

Before anything else, when I say “if it wasn’t for Facebook and/or Twitter, I would still have remembered today’s occasion”, you should believe me. Trust me, I didn’t have quite an easy time coming up with something for your birthday, given how our last conversation ended up. Then I remembered you telling me before of your unhopeful wish of me dedicating a blog post for you, and here I am, hoping it’s not too late to fulfill that wish and that in the end, it would still mean something to you that I did.

On your 17^th birthday, I made a song cover for you just to find out the next day that I was awful at singing and my supposedly sweet gift caused you a couple of laughs. On your 18^th birthday, I became an instant event coordinator/ stylist/band member and the next few days after that we spent on how we made a blast out of your debut party.  Today, I honestly don’t know if tomorrow we could laugh or even talk about it, or if in a couple of weeks, maybe months, we would be back to the strangers we were three years ago. But this is supposed to be a “happy birthday” greeting so I might as well cut the drama here. Not that the succeeding parts would be any less dramatic.

Of course, who would have known that randomly greeting someone a happy graduation years back would be the start of one of the friendships I’d treasure for the longest time possible. And yeah well maybe the last statement might not hold true to you, to be frank, but believe me, I will. Looking back, you were always too amazed at the trivial things you’d learn from me but let me tell you this, all of those things I have learned from books and school, and could never compare to the things you have taught me about myself and about living life as a whole.

Not that I couldn’t be trusted, but you made me feel how much people can and how easy it is to trust me because a little over 24 hours of our “closeness”, you have shared to me a secret you did not readily share with others back then. Not only that, but as time went by, you have shared not only your secrets with me, but also most of the things you can’t tell others, even those who are physically close to you. More than that, you have taught me the secret to life and love that maybe one day soon I’d be able to live by, that we should eliminate what does not make us happy in order to be genuinely happy.

But since technically, we are not the best of friends one may think of, let me say that not everything that doesn’t make us happy at the moment did not make us happy for once, and that it always takes a person the greater amount of pain in order to decide to eliminate such. Please don’t get the wrong idea that I’m looking for something to argue about with you (that is, if you still want to even argue with me). But please know that our friendship will never be painful enough to be eliminated from my life, because yes, I surrender to the fact that even if you give me hurtful words all the time, most of these words are true, and that maybe, you were hurt and tired for me, and with me seemingly ignoring all of those efforts and emotions you have invested on me, you became hurt by me, and tired of me, instead. Indeed, it would be understandable if you say by now that there is no hope of mending all our broken pieces.

I guess it’s sad that I’d have to fulfill your “wish blog” with this emotional one, but of course, it’s your special day today, and there’s this Mommeh Potato Apol Tart part of me that’s telling me over and over that this is the best way I can make you feel your worth for me, given the hundreds of Facebook greetings you have by now. It’s 11:55 at May 24 time now, approximately 24 hours after I started with my first sentence. It was hard for me to think of things to say to a person I guess wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore, but it’s worth it, because still, by now, you are one of the few persons I’d do anything for. I swear it.

I guess I should post this now before it’s too late.

If it wasn’t for Facebook and/or Twitter, I would still have remembered today’s occasion. After 2 years of happily celebrating it with you, who’s to say I didn’t wonder even for a second how your birthday this year went? I bet it was great. I hope you had fun. I hope no one went sending you eardrum-breaking voice clips. I hope you were happy. 

And if you are not, even if it isn’t your birthday anymore, you know in your heart that I’m still here for you, if you still want me to be. We don’t pretend, do we?

The smell of freshly-brewed coffee spread across the whole place from the dimly-lit corner where a man, probably in his late 50’s was helping himself with the daily newspaper to a table where a workaholic bachelor juggled his laptop, handheld and phonebook all at the same time, to the old wooden table beside the glass window where she sat—-a little over 20, her hair put tidily into a bun with some strands managing to escape and hung just behind her right ear. In her blue-red checkered top and denim tights, she stood-out from all the other people at the café, whose daily customers, if not businessmen in monochromatic coats and slacks are a bunch of pale-skinned elders reeking of the smell of old books and perfume.

She took a sip from her caramel latte, leaving her upper lip mustached with whipped cream she immediately licked off seconds after. She let her fingertips drum on the tabletop thrice before she picked up her cell phone just beside her cup of coffee.

“I’m nervous, dying in a few minutes.” She typed in. She hit send and snapped the object into hibernation once again. In less than a minute, it lit on and vibrated from across her. Allie was so sure it was her best friend waiting for an update. A real one at that.

And yes, it was. “Whatever, A. You’ve done this a couple of times. Now let me grab a popcorn before the show gets to the good part. This better be good!” She shouldn’t have texted her best friend, Allie thought in regret, because that completely equals to no help at all. To her, it was yet going to be one uneventful afternoon. In all honesty, that is. But she wouldn’t deny that there’s this teensy weensy popping sound her heart was making that made her shift positions on her chair. Maybe she was a little nervous about this.

She tried to listen to her heartbeat that took her a couple of seconds given all the buzzing noises coming from all over the place. She detected the loud beatings first, then the soft ones, then recognized a familiar rhythm they all made together.

She was back on the marble-paved dance floor in her red halter gown with crystals embezzled around her waist. As she jealously watched her friends being fetched by numerous males she was unable to identify due to the masks they wore, she fought hard to shove away her envy, clenched the golden stick of her Japanese doll mask and gripped the right end of her seat so tight she would’ve fallen over any second.

“May I have this dance?” She spew a few coughs as if to bring herself back to reality in case it was her imagination playing around.

Although it wasn’t. As if to prove how perfect his timing was, he appeared behind her seat—-a tall figure dressed in a suit of dull black with a red rose pinned on his right breast to match the candy red undershirt he had on. He, too, concealed his face behind a silver half-faced mask that revealed half the smile she most certainly knew. She was about to paint a smile of her own to repay his, but she remembered she was supposed to be mad with him for not sitting with her, for not giving her a stem of rose like her best friend’s boyfriend did—-for whatever reason, she needed to be mad at him. The realization came a little too late, though, because by the time she held her buccinators back, he was already gripping her hand and using his other hand to push her up from her chair. She gave in, like she always did. Like he always made her do.

Besides, it’s their song that’s playing.

“Are you even here?” Elijah forms a crease on his forehead trying to assess Allie’s expression. It took a couple of seconds to sink into her that he was already across her for a half an hour. “Yes? Yes I am. What were you saying?” She stares at him blankly with a hint of sarcasm on her face. In normal days, Elijah would snap at such non-enthusiasm, but today he didn’t. Not that this would be a normal day to begin with.

“I said, you ought to come with me to my grandparents’ house this weekend, it’s Gramps’ birthday.” He chuckled a little before he reached out for her hand. “I want to show you where I came from.” He tightened his fingers in between hers.

“Oh, I very well know where you have, Mister. I wouldn’t want to invade your mother’s bodily privacy just to let you ‘show’ me.” She threw him an enormous smile. As if in sync with her brain function, he let out a big laugh and held her hand tighter, pulled his seat closer to her so that he could put his arms around her. As his warmth radiated through her skin, she closed her eyes and they sat there frozen, while the whole earth spun upon them.

He was holding her hand for the first time. As Jules dragged her slowly across the ballroom floor, he never let his eyes leave hers as he tried to master every detail of her face because tonight, something was different—-minus all the make-up, false eyelashes and stiffened hairstyle—-tonight, she was glowing, she was happy, all of this because of the guy who now put around his other hand around her waist and leaned his head over to hers; the guy who looked straight into her soul while they swayed in perfect motion, forgetting about the world for a while; the guy who made her want this dance to last forever; the guy who was finally holding her heart in his hands for the very first time.

“We need to talk”. As if choreographed to say each sound at the same time, the two of them propped up and glanced to see each other’s stiffened expression. He immediately looked back onto the drizzly road they were driving on, tightened his grip on the gear and turned on the stereo a few seconds after. She took a few more seconds to see if he would find anything comic to break the painful silence they both knew what meant and breathed in all the air her lungs could contain. As she let it all out, her heart was shot through its chambers when she heard the very first note that brought the car to life again. The one note started a whole melody that caressed her senses in a very familiar manner.

“This one’s your favorite.” As the yellow spotlight radiated across his bare cheek, she could see him smiling even from within because she knew that he was aware of her soft spot, and this was it, he did not need to apologize because the look she had on her face was everything opposite of mad. She leaned her head on his shoulder and watched the ballroom decorated with floating chiffons of all colors and wondered why, of all the girls in that room, he shared this first dance with her. Of course she knew why, she just was not the type of person that would assume otherwise stated. “Do you love me?”

Elijah finally surrendered after a few minutes of quiet. She almost forgot that back in the car was where she was. “What?” Not wanting to answer what she just had heard, she pretended not to be listening the whole time, and it was not much work for her because he very well knew how she always chose to remain quiet whenever she did not want to have the conversation at hand. He pushed himself to fabricate a smile and held his hand to touch her cheek, squeezed it a little, then reached out to hold her hand. Hers was stone cold while his was warm and soft. Just like how their relationship had turned out for her and for him.

“Yes I do.” She tip-toed to whisper softly to the side of his ear. And she did, she did love him. He was the first to make her feel like this, and if before, she needed to ask her best friend how it felt to be in love and never got a clear answer, this was it. She was in love for the very first time, with him, with the person who can make her feel mad and happy at the same time. “Thank you for loving me.” He whispered back, and whatever effect his words always had on her, these sent shivers down her spine. She tried to hide the feeling by giving him a quirky smile and looked up, “it wouldn’t be that hard, I suppose?” He laughed at this. “Right?” she threw a little punch on his chest. “Ha ha. You bet.” And gave her a soft kiss on her cheek.

It was the best night of her life.

“I don’t know anymore.” Breaking his fear that this night would end up with a vague conclusion, she finally spoke to her, but he forgot what the conversation was about, or if there were any conversation in the first place. “What do you not know of? I believe you are the smartest person alive.” As if to save her by the bell, he pulled over in front of Allie’s lawn showered with tidbits of rainwater from the awful weather. But no, she only had herself to save her tonight.

“I don’t know if I want this anymore, Eli.” Tears started to fill her eyes so she reached out to unzip her bag and plotted to dig out for a napkin. But he wanted to hold her, and he did, like he did not want to let her go, because he didn’t. “Please, no.” She zipped her bag closed again, watched the rain fall on the windshield drop by drop while she gathered herself to pull out from her slender finger the white gold ring embezzled with tiny diamonds around it that he offered on his hand as he knelt down on one knee before her a few months back. She grabbed his shaking hand and dropped said ring on his now freezing palms. He knew it was the ring he gave her, but it felt like he was holding the weight of the world on his hand, and in his heart as well. She turned to give him a loose embrace and broke from it when she felt tears rushing down her cheeks. “I’m sorry”. She kicked her door open, ran into the rain and disappeared from his sight in no time.

She just could not love after she had loved the very first man who managed to make her mad and happy at the same time, the man who knew that her favorite song was playing, the man who made her feel what being in love was for the first time—-the man who broke her heart when she laid it upon his very hands. She knew it was unfair to commit to a lifetime contract with Elijah when everywhere she goes, everything she sees, and everyone she comes across with reminds her of a guy who is not him, and she felt like it was more than cheating, more unfair, more painful, more miserable.

She promised herself not to break anybody’s heart like he did, with his sudden disappearance and not even a single deed to see how she is doing up to present-day; but for whatever reason, her heart never allowed her to feel anger towards him. Ever.

She was still in love with Jules when she was supposed to be moving on with Elijah. She had her heart broken not only once, but twice, just five minutes ago.

It was indeed, the worst night of her life.#

Gitara - Parokya ni Edgar (Cover)

Just playing around with my guitar. Played this song three frets higher for a “girl version”. Hihi! Again, bear with my awkward singing voice, listener!

How long can we keep this up?

On my first few weeks back here, I was the star during class, the center of attraction, that girl everyone believed to be such a cheerful person for a smartass. Their eyes were on me, most of them helped themselves have small talks with me; they laughed at my jokes, tried to know my whole story and got amazed after the twist has been revealed. But during breaks and the few minutes in between classes, I would be left alone, scribbling random things down on crumpled paper at the cafeteria, occasionally waving to the familiar faces when they recognized me, hoping to be called over to join them. But I was always left alone, and I almost believed my whole life here would be quite the same.

And then you came. 

Our days spent together might be uneventful and ritualistic in a way, but truth to the matter is that every moment I spend with you, I keep and cherish during those idle times in between my stepping down Dampatchi ’til I see your faces on the AFTERNOON of the next day. And yes, even if the three of you are night-crawlers and day-sleepers which makes me the odd-man-out, I still love you and I would always be willing to spend hours at the office waiting for us to be Fantastic Four again and set sail for yet another unplanned adventure.

I would never forget those times when I would give Dampatchi a big, big hug because man, that car feels like home to me.

I would never forget singing out loud to random (almost always “jeje”) songs playing on the stereo, nor will I forget how the other three would react insanely when one of us is unusually silent.

I would never forget the simultaneous kagatan and landian with Rakii at the backseat, and the usapang mag-Dude at the front seats.    

I would never forget how we’d always argue on where to eat and who has to make the decision; how we’d all answer “kahit saan, basta kasama ko kayo” and how we’d stick to everyone’s budget and liking at the end of the day.

I would never forget how we made Rakii chase us around school at seven in the evening for intruding his personal space and leaving him, well, defeated, just like how we always do in our countless Pusoy Dos tournaments. Poor Rakii. :(( :))))

I would never forget how we’d meddle with Chua’s lovelife just because we don’t have real ones of our own to meddle with. LOL

I would never forget….wait what was it again? :))))

I may not remember the hundreds of days we spent together and the exact things that happened then, but I would never forget that I had spent moments with you, moments that wouldn’t have been as well-spent with anybody else.

I would never forget tonight, yet another spontaneous one, where we (aside from finally having the money to buy us a KFC bucket meal) wished upon these lanterns (with the help of some random kids) as they flew into the air.

“Sana grumaduate na talaga tayo.”

“Sana kayo na talaga ni Chuck.”

“Sana maging babae na si Rakii.”

“Happy birthday, April!” (twenty days early)

“Sana humaba pa friendship natin.”

I would never forget how my college life that almost failed some time ago, miraculously became one to treasure; and how three beautiful (yes Rakii, beautiful) people share a big part in making that miracle happen. :)

Well, put simply, I love you guys! Friends forever! :)

P.S.

YAY. I FOUND US A DECENT GROUP PICTURE.

And sorry if I spelled Dampatchi wrong. We all know it’s Chua’s red Honda Jazz I’m talking about. :)))

‘Cause I see sparks fly whenever you…:)))))

Sparks Fly - Taylor Swift (Cover)

Happy birthday, Babe! <3

I hope I didn’t ruin the song too much. :3

With love, all the way from Pangasinan. :)